The Accident



As Derrick tumbled down the stairs, he was thinking “Owwww,” after the initial shock, and the flailing of his arms and legs as he tried to come to a stop or catch himself somewhere during the fall. The second thought was “roll up in a ball” and as he tried to pull himself into a ball the last thought was “bad idea” as he rolled onto the platform between the first and second flight of stairs and preceded to flip on to the next flight leading to the ground. Opening his eyes, Derrick gave a sigh of relief that the fall had not ended his life. As his focus came back, hovering right above him was a man with big bulging eyes, thinning hair and missing 2 bottom teeth. It was his neighbor, Beau from apartment 4D, which just happened to be right under the stairs. “You Alright?” he said with a southern boom in his voice, “You looked like a circus dude, all butt, legs, and elbows. I thought you was done for.” Derrick leaned up until he was in a sitting position; he didn’t feel like anything was broken, but he knew he was going to be sore. “What happened?” he asked painfully. “Well, the way I got it figured, it was Ms.Gelman’s cat from up there in apartment 5-B. I heard the squall, and I seen him runnin’ like his tale was on fire, and then I seen you, coming gracefully down the stairs.” He said grinning. “Wish I wudda’ had my video camera, cause I could’ve won some money for that on the America’s Funniest Stuff on Video Show!” Beau helped him to get to his feet and Derrick thanked him as he limped toward his apartment.

He got to his apartment and opened up the door and as he stepped inside “bam” there it was, that familiar pain in his low back from that old rodeo clown job he had when he lived in Oklahoma. He thought about going to the emergency room, but he knew that once internal medicine got a hold on somebody they usually came out worse than they were when they went into the hospital. Derrick decided he had put it off long enough since the move. He had to find a chiropractor and under the circumstances he needed one fast. He grabbed the phonebook from the coffee table, and thumbing through the yellow pages he came across an ad he thought was interesting, it read:

HURT IN AN ACCIDENT?
We can’t get you any money,
But we can help you feel better.
Longbone Chiropractic Clinic
Call: 555-BACK


This place sounded perfect, so he picked up the phone and called the number. The receptionist who answered the phone said the doctor could see him if he could be there within the hour. Derrick explained that he wasn’t the best shape to move at light speed but he would get there as soon as possible. The drive was only few blocks and Derrick was grateful for that. Once he got into the waiting room a very pretty blonde nurse came immediately and escorted him to get x-rays and then to the room where he laid down to wait for the doctor. Why had he gone up to that empty apartment on the second floor, if he had just been satisfied with his own apartment, he would have never stepped on that cat. But ‘no’ he had wanted to see if it had a view and a disposal, he guessed it was another one of those life lessons. Just as he was beginning to relax the door opened and in came a tall man with strawberry -blonde hair, round rosy cheeks and he was singing a song, quite loudly, about a camel named “Clyde.” He introduced himself as Dr. Gordon Longbone. “Well, Mr. Smith” said the doctor in a joyful tone. “Your x-rays were great and you must be a very lucky man to fall down two flights of stairs and not break a bone. It shouldn’t take to long to get you up and going like normal again.” Derrick thought about that word ‘normal’ and decided he had never been even close to normal in his life, but then again neither was this doctor so maybe this might work out well. Dr. Longbone adjusted every major bone from his neck down to his ankles. When he raised up Derrick felt a little dizzy, but the soreness was much better. ”Thanks Doc, that was great, I feel great, and I have to say it is ironic that your name is Longbone and you are a chiropractor. ” “Yep,” said the doctor, “the way I had it figured it was either a chiropractor or an archeologist and I am just not into digging, so I figured this had to be my calling.” And with a big smile he asked, “ Is there anything else I can do for you?” “Well,” said Derrick with a hopeful look on his face. “I might like to get a date with the pretty blonde nurse if you could work it?” Dr. Long bone smiled “Well, I would, but she’s my wife! That was another perk for becoming a doctor.” Derrick apologized, and the doctor laughed. Derrick thanked him and as he left the office he was thinking about the ad in the phonebook; Derrick hadn’t gotten any money (or a date, for that matter) but he did feel better.







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